What Next For The Hunter?
In the beginning, men hunted while women gathered.
We don’t have to travel back in time to see how these societies worked. Take a look at the hunter-gatherer tribes still in existence today, such as the pygmies of central Africa. The men go out and kill a couple of boars, drag them back home, put their feet up, smoke some herb and revel in their masculinity. The women on the other hand wake up at the break of dawn, do the cooking, the cleaning, the washing, tend to the million and one needs of the children, and collect the firewood; finally finding time to rest well past the hour that even the sun has gone to sleep.
Sound familiar?
We appear to have inherited a legacy from our ancestors so well entrenched in our psyche that it has far outlived the era when it was necessary for men’s and women’s roles to be dictated by physiological factors.
As the need for hunting and gathering became redundant, they were seamlessly replaced by the concepts of earning a wage and education as being the exclusive domain of the male. Education was deemed neither necessary nor desirable for a woman; thereby allowing men to keep a hold of their upper hand.
Something happened however in the nineteenth century that started a trend which would challenge this age old system. I’m not sure which event in particular triggered it, but women started recognising there was no reason for them not to have the same rights as men, and so started campaigning for them. With these rights they discovered a new-found independence. An independence of the mind and spirit to begin with, accompanied in more recent years by financial independence.
Needless to say financially independent women no longer need men to bring home the bacon and be the provider. In fact with the rapid rise in divorces and single mothers, even women who are not financially independent are finding that men aren’t an absolute necessity in the rearing of a child. They can get by with part time work, state benefits, and the support of their family and friends.
Although the cosmopolitan man seems to have understood and adapted well to this redefining of our society, there remains a huge gap between the advance of the independent woman and the average man. Maybe it’s simply a matter of time lag but there is a large cross section of society that is still visibly threatened by the change.
The question is often asked these days: do women still need men or would a sperm bank do just as well?
The practicality of the matter is that having a child is no small change in lifestyle, and unless you have a small fortune at your disposal with which you can hire nannies and housekeepers, a partner make a lot of sense. Yes it’s true that women have been empowered and facilitated sufficiently to be able to make do without men, especially where children don’t feature in the equation. However, whatever the circumstance, needed or not, men can lay aside their insecurity and rest assured that they will always be wanted. After all there is the small matter or love, sex and companionship.
posted by turtlebrain @ 11:53 am
16 comments
16 Comments:
lol. great reading btw.
>>Whatever the circumstance however, needed or not, men can lay aside their insecurity and rest assured that they will always be wanted. After all there is the small matter or love, sex and companionship.
hmm, i think in all honesty though, men are 'needed'(and i feel more than wanted) just as much as women. i believe one balances the other(however much i may not want to think it does!)..
>>so what exactly is the woman cleaning up, in the middle of the jungle???????
women are born multi taskers man...stop thinking too much..its gona tire u out..JOKING deary!
I envisage the day when a person won't need anyone else - husband, wife, or family.
hehe jj.
sorry about the late reply...i've been ironing the hubbys shirts..
would it have been that educated men realized the inequality of not educating women, and so began to educated their own daughters at home, who in turn, strove to educate other women, which eventually resulted in a large enough number of women to campaign for more equal rights?
Being a woman, it is easy to recognize the inequalities we still face in this world. Whenever I meet a man that goes to strip clubs and says, "Well it's HER choice to be up there" I begin my debate with them. :) Whenever I meet a woman that buys Cosmo magazine or shapes her life around getting dates for the weekend, I begin a debate with them as well.
I have had wins and losses with these debates. :) It's the wins I remember.
Men measure the quality of lives usually by the achievements they have made in their life.
Most women still look at the relationships (romantic and otherwise) in their life as the supreme measure. Assuming the maternal instinct is to 'blame', this will not change in the future.
Women are apparently biologically hardwired to have their needs & wants constant; men apparently deal in crests and troughs.
What you achieve counts as nothing if what you want is something different.
Men and women NEED - and want - love. In different ways, at different times, but they do.
If you want a one line summary, Shak has it - "maybe one day we wont need parents either"
>>Men measure the quality of lives usually by the achievements they have made in their life. Most women still look at the relationships (romantic and otherwise) in their life as the supreme measure.
given that you haven't actually elaborated, epanded or evidenced what you mean, i will draw my own inferences and am willing to entertain your theory, or at the very least give it the benefit of the doubt
>>Assuming the maternal instinct is to 'blame'
i'm inclined to think that women are more grounded in reality than their male counterparts which would marry with your initial statement. however why would you assume that this has to do with 'maternal intinct'?
>>Women are apparently biologically hardwired to have their needs & wants constant; men apparently deal in crests and troughs.
lol. ok now i really DO need some elaboration.
>>What you achieve counts as nothing if what you want is something different
not really understanding the relevance of this little dictum
>>Men and women NEED - and want - love
need at what level? you need food to survive, otherwise you die. will you die if you don't have love?
>>If you want a one line summary, Shak has it - "maybe one day we wont need parents either"
a one line summary of what?
>>The women on the other hand wake up at the break of dawn, do the cooking, the cleaning, the washing, tend to the million and one needs of the children, and collect the firewood; finally finding time to rest well past the hour that even the sun has gone to sleep.
it was instinct that the physically superior male dominate the female- quite a natural occurrence given the circumstances of the time then.
>>An independence of the mind and spirit to begin with, accompanied in more recent years by financial independence for an increasing cross section of women.
true, i agree. women are far more independent and this has led to men leaving behind their masculinity to become more metrosexual (horrible word but i hope that conveys the gist of it)
>>In fact with the rapid rise in divorces and single mothers, even women who are not financially independent are finding that men aren’t an absolute necessity in the rearing of a child. They can get by with part time work, state benefits and the support of their family and friends.
is this good or bad or have you left it open ended? i guess it's good that a woman can survive on her own but the pity is the rise in the no of divorces. quite a sad state of affairs but of course that depends on whether or not you believe in the sanctity of marriage or not but children need a stable family environment- divorces, as commonly known, play havoc with their mental structure and well-being.
>>Whatever the circumstance however, needed or not, men can lay aside their insecurity and rest assured that they will always be wanted. After all there is the small matter or love, sex and companionship.
one forgets there is often the little matter of stability and building a family beyond just sex and companionship. a child needs both the love and experience of a mother and a father. each of them provides a different perspective on life and empowers the child in different ways. all good that a woman is independent but to revel in not needing men beyond sex, love and companionship baffles me.
>>it was instinct that the physically superior male dominate the female- quite a natural occurrence given the circumstances of the time then
thanks for bastardising what i've already said. incidentally i never used the word 'dominate' nor did i imply it when i was referring to the hunter gatherer societies
>>women are far more independent and this has led to men leaving behind their masculinity to become more metrosexual
not so much 'leaving behind' as redefining. also it depends on what you mean by masculinity and how much importance you put on it.
>>is this good or bad
neither. it was a satement of fact devoid of judgement
>>quite a sad state of affairs but of course that depends on whether or not you believe in the sanctity of marriage
exactly
>>children need a stable family environment- divorces, as commonly known, play havoc with their mental structure and well-being
as do growing up in bad marriages
>>there is often the little matter of stability and building a family beyond just sex and companionship. a child needs both the love and experience of a mother and a father. each of them provides a different perspective on life and empowers the child in different ways
very true and good in an ideal world of happy marriages and good parenting. however not all marriages are happy and not all single parents are bad parents just as not all married parents are good parents. a child can still benefit from both parents even if they are separated.
>>all good that a woman is independent but to revel in not needing men beyond sex, love and companionship baffles me
your use of the term revelling suggests that you think that i'm playing at one-upmanship. i can assure you that i hold an equal regard for both men and women. i acknowledge and appreciate that we share similarities and host differences. the point of my blog was not to 'revel', but to highlight a sociological reordering which need not be met with fear.
lol icey! long timeee. just waiting for my stalker to post and then its one great almb reunion party!
lol.
hmm.. and icey's profile location states leeds....
nothing wrong, as such. though, unfortunately..i anticipate youll be deleting more comments in the future..
oh and ur blog serves as a sort of eery(heh) reminder of someone else i know..perhaps its just me.
shrugs shoulder.
why have you posted that link sofia? it's obviously not your blog
>>Men measure the quality of lives usually by the achievements they have made in their life. Most women still look at the relationships (romantic and otherwise) in their life as the supreme measure.
> given that you haven't actually elaborated, expanded or evidenced what you mean, i will draw my own inferences and am willing to entertain your theory, or at the very least give it the benefit of the doubt
The above was mostly from reading; confirmed by talking to others, and my own personal experiences.
>>Assuming the maternal instinct is to 'blame'
> i'm inclined to think that women are more grounded in reality than their male counterparts which would marry with your initial statement. however why would you assume that this has to do with 'maternal intinct'?
I wondered why women are relationship oriented; and men achievement. Genetics, centuries of traditions, implicit/explicit social conditioning may be factors - I am inclined to think the die was cast a little bit biologically - with the maternal instinct.
>>Women are apparently biologically hardwired to have their needs & wants constant; men apparently deal in crests and troughs.
lol. ok now i really DO need some elaboration.
Men experience emotions, orgasms, desires in highs and lows.
Women tend to be less wildly varying.
> not really understanding the relevance of this little dictum.
> need at what level? you need food to survive, otherwise you die. will you die if you don't have love?
> a one line summary of what?
Do you need to understand, or want to ?
>>Men experience emotions, orgasms, desires in highs and lows. Women tend to be less wildly varying
you've obviously never come across a woman suffering from pmt or adolescence or menopuase before ;-)
seriously though what do you base this statement on?
>>Do you need to understand, or want to ?
lol. want to ;-)
>>Men experience emotions, orgasms, desires in highs and lows. Women tend to be less wildly varying
> seriously though what do you base this statement on?
Mostly from reading all kind of journals - from ages back, so don't really have concrete sources to go with it.
You must have read this often - women make better managers; men make better specialists.
That's apparently the next difference - men tend to concentrate completely into whatever they are doing; women are better multi-taskers.
You probably can spot the common brain pattern in both these differences though - the male brain is inclined toward start-stop pattern - intense working followed by break-offs; women tend to do thing at a constant, reliable pace, and are less likely at being frogs-in-the-well.
>>Do you need to understand, or want to ?
> lol. want to ;-)
No one needs love - everyone wants it. And Men and women will want it differently. And so, they will always treat it differently. And so, they will always value it differently.
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